So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
