Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
