Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize