So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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