are you so shy because you have an std?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
and you fell through a lawn chair
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
