no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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