Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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