I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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