i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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