I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
His nipple licking is glorious
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