well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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