This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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