some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize