are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
well, you know. whores of a feather.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
