LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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