I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
