i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
