this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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