You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
