Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you never un-have a 4some
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
