So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
