No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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