I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
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