So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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