Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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