false alarm. still invincible.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
