She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
