He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
