Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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