my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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