you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
