ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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