Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
