He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
