this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
