Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
