He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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