I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize