Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I need to stop coming to work sober
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
