Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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