And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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