That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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