I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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