Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
