I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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