you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
