This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
