Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize