Buhtt sex?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
