oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I supernannyed him into submission
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
