You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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