Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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