and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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