Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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