Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
