break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We named our party play list daddy issues
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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