new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is Oprah even human
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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