Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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