There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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