Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
