My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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