At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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