just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize