i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
