He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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