I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
