So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You ruined the universe
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize