I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
third nipple confirmed
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
