Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
