I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
