Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
