You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
