its not stalking. its research.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
